First steps

So, Big Poppet (BP) and I decided yesterday that we definitely want a child!

We were supposed to wait it out and take our time in deciding, but I just couldn't ignore the pull in me - both physically and mentally. For years, I have been adamant that I wanted to remain childless. Lots of reasons why - my mental health, strain on the relationship, not being cut out for it etc. I have never felt this need before. 

We had a great conversation. Partly discussing our worries, talking about all the great aspects of life we could introduce our little one to, lessons from our childhood we can act on. Lots of crying - mainly on my part! 

Earlier in the day I had two great chats with two of the best mothers I've ever known - mum and my sister, Em. They gave me some great advice and asked all sorts of questions that helped me sort out what and how I was feeling.

It felt wonderful to have BP tell me he was on board and wanted to make a family with me.
He is everything to me and the thought of distilling us both into a new little person is incredibly emotional and exciting.

I currently have an Implanon contraceptive implant that I will need to have removed before we start officially trying to conceive. I have made an appointment for Monday morning (5 days time) to arrange to have it out and to talk about trying for a baby. Just typing that makes me feel giddy!

I'm also currently taking 20mg of Citalopram daily, for depression / anxiety.
I'm on the verge of starting counselling for the same reason, so, if the drugs pose any risk to the baby, I'll come off them and rely on the counselling and alternative remedies.

I've been looking into eating the very best things in terms of preparing my body for conception - and BP's!
I'm going to start on that as soon as I can. A lot of the things on the 'danger' lists happen to be related to meat and fish, which, as a vegetarian, don't apply. Good start!

Em's going to send me one of the pregnancy books she used with her first. She's recently bought a new one to add to her collection, as she's current c. 5 weeks pregnant with #2. If she gets on with that well, she'll recommend it to me.

So, that's where we are now :)